Consider the Source
A lot has been done and a lot has been said in this world that amazes normal people like you and me because of the audacity of the doer or sayer to do or say things that are just contrary to common good sense and courtesy and are extreme in their philosophy and intent. Many people I know have been deeply and emotionally hurt by these doers or sayers, and although I believe that you can only be hurt by this extreme brand of people if you drop your armor and let yourself be hurt, the hurt is real and long-lasting to those who suffer it.
I try to avoid people who are out to hurt me, if at all I can. Yet, sometimes they are unavoidable, because sometimes, they are the people you live with or come in contact with every day of your life. It may not be that their purpose is to intentionally hurt you, although many times it is. It may be that their intent is not so much to hurt, but to control you, so that your life will conform to become what they think it should be. No mattter, the effect is the same.
So, because we have to live with these doers and sayers, my advice is, and has always been to anyone I have met who has been hurt by one of them, "Consider the source."
As I already mentioned most of the hurt sustained from these "hurters" can be avoided if you face it with the conviction that they can't hurt you without your consent. When you consider the warped opinions and beliefs that many of these hurters have, or the extreme conceit and selfishness that drives their words and actions, you can dismiss most of what they say or do as a product of their misaligned character. With this "shield" in place, your reaction turns from one of hurt or anger to one of pity instead. And instead of hating the aggressors, you then search for opportunities to help them, which very often does not happen, because someone can only be helped when they realize that they have a problem and they want help to fix it. Since this is very rarely the case in these situations, you must learn to "turn off" the source of the hurt. Considering that the source is most likely not ever going to present anything that may improve the quality of your life, you let anything that they launch in your direction "roll off" like water off a duck's back.
If you live under the sincere conviction that people can only hurt you when you allow them to, you will suffer far less emotional injury in your lifetime. In remembering that these people are only producing what is the natural result of a warped mindset or a flawed character, you realize that these people are not singling you out for a personal attack, but that they act this way toward everyone--it is the standard of their conduct. Whether or not the attacks continue is determined by your response to them. If you let them hurt you and show the hurt in your response, the aggressors will find victory in exposing your weakness, and will then bombard you until they have taken over control of your life. But if you learn to resist and ignore the attacks, "letting it go" and not letting them take hold of your emotions, then the aggressor is thwarted in his efforts and will eventually give up on you as a target.
I choose not to live a miserable life. And I choose not to let those that want to make my life miserable succeed. Because my life is ruled by common sense and common decency to others, those who do not live by that standard may not become an integral part of my life because I have chosen not to let them through the gates. They may launch all the attacks that their tortured minds can think up; but when I consider the source, everything they say or do becomes meaningless to me.
You can change your miserable life by putting on the armor of "considering the source." Remember that those people act and speak as they do because they have a problem. If you don't want to take part in their misery, don't. Consider the source and walk away happy. Unless you ARE one of those people with a problem--the only advice I have for you, then, is to GET A REAL LIFE, and let the rest of us live ours in peace.
