How Do You Eat an Elephant?

How do you eat an elephant?

The answer to that question leads me to ponder another philosophical analogy that potentially holds the keys to a happy life:

Life is like math – just a series of problems that get harder as you get older.

No matter who we are, no matter what we do, no matter what measures we take to avoid them, problems are a part of life. You cannot escape them. You can try to run from them, and although you may get away from your current problems, a change in situation or location only brings a new set of problems. Accept it—you will have problems.

So whether or not you have problems is not the question. The issue is your response to the problems that you will, and do, face. In school, you can hate math and refuse to do it, but that does not make the problems go away. You only have more trouble as the problems get harder down the road. The same is true in life.

As I said before, you cannot escape problems; but you can solve them. If we consider problems as challenges waiting to be solved, and we approach them with a positive attitude and open mind, the solutions are very often quite obvious. Unfortunately, this is where many people get bogged down and give up, because as often as the solutions are apparent, they just as often require some degree of work to accomplish. Since a large sector of the population is generally opposed to any type effort required from them, the problems of this sector tend to just mount up before them like a great mountain. Each of the problems itself may not be that big an obstacle to overcome, but compounded, they present a challenge that would be daunting to even the most diligent and creative soul.

Thus, the key is to tackle each problem as it presents itself, before it has a chance to multiply and negatively affect your psyche. Not only does this approach keep the number of current problems to a minimum, but it also provides a feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment, as you reflect on each of your conquests. And the wisdom and skill you gain in the process can only help you in the long run as you learn the best ways of dealing with similar problems in the future.

Attitude is the key. The attitude which you bring to the table will ultimately determine whether your life will be a happy one, free of past problems, or whether you will continue to lead a miserable life of accumulated problems you are trying to avoid but that will never go away.

Attitude is not an inherited trait that we are born with and cannot change. Attitude is a habit of response, borne out of a long series of response choices that we have made in the past. Habitual complaint and avoidance creates a fog of negative attitude that prevents us from being able to see the sometimes obvious solutions. Whereas, seeing each problem as a challenge that will lead us to a better life is the motivation and learned response that will keep us moving ahead in life toward success and happiness.

No one ever accomplished anything without first overcoming problems. It is attitude (learned habitual response) that has made the difference between the NFL quarterback and the Armchair quarterback. It is attitude that will determine the difference between you living in a nice house or landing in the Big House. It is attitude that either conquers problems or is conquered by them.

Those who choose to view problems with an attitude of challenge and conquest will continue to move ahead, unobstructed, while the rest of the population sit back and complain from behind their self-imposed barrier of problems. If you are one of those currently sitting and complaining, all is not hopeless. Even though your problems have accumulated to the volume of Mount Everest, remember that even the greatest of mountains was conquered one step at a time. Your solution is to get up and take the first step. Conquer the first problem. And then approach each subsequent problem with the same attitude, until, one at a time, you have reduced the mountain to a molehill and you can start moving ahead in life with the rest of us. If you refuse, however, to put forth the effort to solve the first problem, that mountain in front of you will become your tomb.

So how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time! Take the first bite and start living again.

Consider the Source

Consider the Source

A lot has been done and a lot has been said in this world that amazes normal people like you and me because of the audacity of the doer or sayer to do or say things that are just contrary to common good sense and courtesy and are extreme in their philosophy and intent. Many people I know have been deeply and emotionally hurt by these doers or sayers, and although I believe that you can only be hurt by this extreme brand of people if you drop your armor and let yourself be hurt, the hurt is real and long-lasting to those who suffer it.

I try to avoid people who are out to hurt me, if at all I can. Yet, sometimes they are unavoidable, because sometimes, they are the people you live with or come in contact with every day of your life. It may not be that their purpose is to intentionally hurt you, although many times it is. It may be that their intent is not so much to hurt, but to control you, so that your life will conform to become what they think it should be. No mattter, the effect is the same.

So, because we have to live with these doers and sayers, my advice is, and has always been to anyone I have met who has been hurt by one of them, "Consider the source."

As I already mentioned most of the hurt sustained from these "hurters" can be avoided if you face it with the conviction that they can't hurt you without your consent. When you consider the warped opinions and beliefs that many of these hurters have, or the extreme conceit and selfishness that drives their words and actions, you can dismiss most of what they say or do as a product of their misaligned character. With this "shield" in place, your reaction turns from one of hurt or anger to one of pity instead. And instead of hating the aggressors, you then search for opportunities to help them, which very often does not happen, because someone can only be helped when they realize that they have a problem and they want help to fix it. Since this is very rarely the case in these situations, you must learn to "turn off" the source of the hurt. Considering that the source is most likely not ever going to present anything that may improve the quality of your life, you let anything that they launch in your direction "roll off" like water off a duck's back. 


If you live under the sincere conviction that people can only hurt you when you allow them to, you will suffer far less emotional injury in your lifetime. In remembering that these people are only producing what is the natural result of a warped mindset or a flawed character, you realize that these people are not singling you out for a personal attack, but that they act this way toward everyone--it is the standard of their conduct. Whether or not the attacks continue is determined by your response to them. If you let them hurt you and show the hurt in your response, the aggressors will find victory in exposing your weakness, and will then bombard you until they have taken over control of your life. But if you learn to resist and ignore the attacks, "letting it go" and not letting them take hold of your emotions, then the aggressor is thwarted in his efforts and will eventually give up on you as a target.

I choose not to live a miserable life. And I choose not to let those that want to make my life miserable succeed. Because my life is ruled by common sense and common decency to others, those who do not live by that standard may not become an integral part of my life because I have chosen not to let them through the gates. They may launch all the attacks that their tortured minds can think up; but when I consider the source, everything they say or do becomes meaningless to me.
You can change your miserable life by putting on the armor of "considering the source." Remember that those people act and speak as they do because they have a problem. If you don't want to take part in their misery, don't. Consider the source and walk away happy. Unless you ARE one of those people with a problem--the only advice I have for you, then, is to GET A REAL LIFE, and let the rest of us live ours in peace.